brewed in the motor city, Bert Maple gained his grip on teen agst at a young age.
Shoveling coal as theRedheaded stepchild for his adoptive Croatian family, Bert turned
daily strife into creative brilliance and frequent beatings into unrelenting heart.
Dedicated to honing his slapshot and finding unconditional love, heir Maple ran away from
"home" at age 13 and smuggled himself in a Hostess truck to Manitoba.
Embracing the local canuck/punk scene, Bert studied chaos, And three chord guitar theory by day and gigged with bands The Pisswads, The Lot Lizards, Bedwetter and, Twister-Fister by night. But frustrated by inferior hockey Performance and the subpar Canadian dollar, Bert eventually left Manitoba in a cloud of Purple Haze andMiles Davis.Now on pace to set the new world record for "structuresBuilt with Spam", Bert is occupying his spare time with new venture AUDIOFLOOD, though he seems to insist he Was drugged and forced into the situation